Yesterday’s food and exercise diary (I reached my macro goals!!!):

I have learned a few things in the last few years. (1) I am human and weak-willed, and (2) I like rewards. Putting these two observations together, I have learned that if I want to learn to make better choices in the moment, I sort of need to “hack” myself- take into consideration all the weaknesses I have and work around them.

Yesterday, it was really hot and I spent most of the day sitting. I had already eaten pretty nutrient rich meals, but I found myself wanting to enjoy a nice, cold hard kombucha. I knew that I would have to compromise and reason with myself if I were to get that which I wanted but didn’t necessarily need.

Here are some weaknesses and emotional consequences I have noticed within myself: if I am not active all day, I am typically more lethargic, possibly anxious, and even in a depressed mood. If I eat a calorie dense, low nutrient food while in this state (low activity), then the depressive feelings increase and with that is a sense that I didn’t make the best decision I could or take care of my body.

A physiological consequence that often comes with that is I will often stay up later and/or have lesser quality sleep which begins a vicious cycle of sleep deprivation and/or moodiness for the next 3 or 4 days before I get back on track.

I know that some of this is my perfectionism- if I mess up, I tend to let it get to me too much and have a hard time moving on and making a better choice next time.

Anyways, with this in mind, I have realized that I can erase some of that “guilt” or general moodiness by incentivizing my being more active or eating better meals to make room for indulgence.

This doesn’t mean if I walk around the block, I will let myself have a piece of cake. The incentive or reward has to reasonably be on a similar level to the work required to get there.

Back to that hard kombucha I wanted- I knew that it would be over 100 calories and mainly empty carbs. I accounted for my energy (low to moderate energy), the calories I could afford, and determined which activity I could perform to feel as if I earned the reward.

I ended up doing a quick, but moderately fast-paced walk for a mile- while also dancing to some music.

It’s okay to sort of provide lots of rewards, especially in the beginning when the will is the weakest (and maybe in the middle, too haha). Eventually, I know that some of these routines and habits will be second nature, or the decision easier. But, for now, I will accept that I am no better than that pea-brained bunny and need something sweet and satiable for which to look forward.